Screenwise by Devorah Heitner offers a practical and empathetic guide for parents and educators navigating the complexities of raising children in a digitally saturated culture. The book’s central thesis is a call to move beyond a model of strict monitoring and control toward one of “mentoring.” Heitner argues that children need guidance to develop digital citizenship, resilience, and wisdom online, not just restrictions designed to keep them safe.
The book’s content is structured to reframe the common anxieties parents face. Heitner introduces the concept of being “digital natives” (kids) versus “digital immigrants” (parents) but quickly moves to empower the adult. She posits that while children may be more technically fluent, parents possess the crucial “wisdom, judgment, and empathy” needed to mentor them through social and ethical challenges that are, at their core, timeless, even if the medium is new.
A significant portion of the book is dedicated to providing a robust “mentoring toolkit.” This is not a list of technical controls, but a framework for conversation and relationship-building. Key strategies emphasized throughout the content include:
- Modeling Good Behavior: Heitner stresses that parents must first examine their own device habits, as children learn more from observation than from instruction.
- Cultivating Trust and Open Communication: The book advocates for creating a non-panicked environment where children feel comfortable coming to their parents with mistakes, rather than hiding them for fear of having their devices taken away.
- Focusing on the “Why”: Instead of just laying down rules, Heitner encourages parents to explain the reasoning behind concerns—such as privacy, reputation, and empathy—to help children internalize values.
- Problem-Solving Together: The book suggests approaching digital dilemmas as a team, asking questions like “What would you do?” or “How could we handle this?” to build the child’s critical thinking skills.
The book addresses a wide range of age-specific topics, from managing young children’s first exposure to screens to navigating the complexities of social media, texting, and gaming in the tween and teen years. Heitner provides specific conversation starters and sample scripts for dealing with common issues like cyberbullying, seeing inappropriate content, oversharing, and managing digital footprints.
The tone of Screenwise is consistently reassuring, pragmatic, and respectful of both parents and children. It acknowledges the real challenges of the digital world without succumbing to alarmism. The content is focused on building a long-term, positive relationship between parents and children that can withstand the evolving digital landscape, positioning parents as confident coaches rather than overwhelmed police officers.